Try this at your next dinner party: a cocktail napkin will suffice. Draw four geometric shapes: a square, a circle, a triangle, and an s-shaped line. Next, ask your guests which one they believe best represents their personality. Chances are, three quarters of them will point to the squiggly line, and no one will fess up to being the square. It is a party after all. So far, all of my friends have chosen the shape that I would have pegged them with as well.

The square is, of course, the box. These are your friendly IRS auditor, labor-relations attorney, or congressional committee chair who are protocol-driven and governed by rules. They fear breaking tradition or missing a step. The circle will statistically have the second most votes. We immediately recognize these individuals as the Brownie Leader, group therapist, or kid’s t-ball coach. They love group-hugs, diplomacy, and fair-play. The circle fears being left out.

The triangle is the most perfect shape, mathematically speaking. Triangles are logical and analytical. They are coupon-clippers, comparison shoppers, financial analysts, and economists. They excel at designing spreadsheets and use logic and data in order to develop a strategy. They complete one task at a time. They kick butt at Scrabble, cards, and hold their own in the stock market. They fear not making the right decision and loathe losing.

The squiggly-line is of course the multi-tasker who has at least three projects in progress simultaneously. They will abandon anything boring or useless, and are generally fun-seeking and high energy. Sending them to therapy or assigning group projects wouldn’t be your best strategy. They tend to poke fun at rituals and often skip steps deemed to be useless. They fear boredom and monotony. These are your artists, mad scientists, and soccer moms. Squiggly lines marry their opposites–the triangles.

KP is of course the triangle. Take cooking for an example. If a recipe is needed, he first searches the internet for the title or main ingredient. After careful review of all the options, one is chosen, and then saved to his recipe folder on the computer. The shopping list is composed, and he is careful not to purchase an ingredient already in the pantry. The instructions are followed, and all ingredients are carefully weighed or measured. The outcome is delicious. Future preparations are equally and reliably wonderful.

As the squiggly line, I am usually preparing at least 3 courses for each meal (excluding breakfast). I don’t have a system and all quantities are approximated. I may or may not refer to a recipe, and when I do, substitutions are usually made as I have invariably forgotten to buy something because I rarely remember to bring the list to the market. So I improvise. I often invent things, depending on what is in the pantry or the refrigerator, but can never reproduce the dish as I can’t remember how I prepared it. I am, indisputably, the better cook and KP has learned to defer to my advise in the culinary arena, even when the recipe is written in French-which he can read and I cannot.

Squiggly + TriangleSquiggly + Triangle.

In the financial area, however, squiggly is simply out of KP’s league. He meticulously prepares spreadsheets, graphs expenses, and forecasts predictions. Triangle’s conclusions are then used as the blueprint for future saving, investing, or spending habits. I am bored just writing about it. I don’t even look at bank statements anymore and I signed our 2007 tax return with nothing less than blind faith.

While my squiggly behavior occasionally annoys the 3-sided man of the house, our four-legged dog regularly frustrates him. Even after watching dozens of episodes of the Dog Whisperer and applying it’s principles, she remains unpredictable and intractable. Despite tri-man’s skillful analysis of weather patterns, air traffic, walking routes, and schedules, it remains a mystery as to whether she will bolt for the front door with her tail up when she sees the leash, or run for cover inaccessibly under the bed. She’s obviously not any of these shapes-she is just a terrier. I choose not to deal with the dog. After raising human children, I have no interest in discipline or responsible parenting. I don’t want to understand or control anymore. She just has to love me and neither shed nor potty in the house.

S-wife and T-man peacefully co-exist as long as we avoid nagging or any discussion of politics. Then it’s all out war. I have learned to tolerate the incessant vacation planning, complete with detailed maps and itineraries. KP agreed to include a trip to a spa in an upcoming trip to Santa Fe. He is invited to edit my blog for grammatical errors, but not creative content. I am welcome to read his and offer my sincerest “well done”. Since I never care about losing at Scrabble, we play frequently to the delight of the triangle and he has conceded an entire closet for my shoes and handbags. When I cook, he cleans. When he cooks, he also cleans. Life is good.

~cb~